Being able to keep your cool when an argument is brewing is a great skill. It takes practice and discipline to know which buttons to avoid pressing and learned resilience to let a few stinging comments roll off your back. Children pick this up this from those closest to them, usually their parents. For children with autism, they might require some additional instruction. At Monarch House, we are here to help. Teaching conflict resolution skills to autistic children is essential for their social development and emotional well-being. By providing structured strategies, we work with parents, educators, and caregivers to empower autistic children to navigate disagreements constructively. 

Here are eight ways to support the development of conflict resolution skills in children with autism in Toronto.

1. Encouraging Emotional Regulation

How many times have you thought back to a time that you lost your temper and wished you could have said something else instead? Conflict often arises when emotions are overwhelming. We can help your child identify their feelings using emotion charts or apps and teach calming techniques such as deep breathing or counting to ten. Emotional regulation reduces impulsive reactions and promotes thoughtful responses.

2. Practicing Problem-Solving Skills

We take a cognitive based approach to resolving conflicts. For instance, we might guide your child through the process of solving problems collaboratively. We can take note of real-life scenarios your child has encountered in the past, and propose a step-by-step guide that they could have used, and are encouraged to use next time such conflict arises. An example might be a disagreement they had over chores. We can help them examine the argument and discuss potential solutions and better paths. As a part of this process, we encourage brainstorming. Then from the various options, we allow them to choose the best resolution, fostering independence.

3. Fostering Empathy

There are two sides to every story, and with every conflict it takes two to tango. Seeing things from the other side is an important skill. At Monarch House, we put forth that empathy is a crucial aspect of conflict resolution. To teach your child how to put this into practice, we use role-playing games or perspective-taking exercises. Trying on the experience from the other side helps autistic children understand how others might feel during a disagreement. For example, we might ask questions like, “How do you think your friend felt when you said that?”

4. Modelling Healthy Conflict Resolution

At Monarch House, we offer parent coaching sessions where you can learn some strategies about conflict resolution yourself. Children learn by example, so it is important for parents and caregivers to model respectful and effective behaviour in everyday situations as well. We can help you narrate your thought process as you navigate disagreements in role play scenarios, so that you can express empathy, active listening, and compromise.

5. Enabling Clear Communication

At Monarch House, we can teach your child some of the basics of how to read body language and interpret subtle cues. Children with autism sometimes struggle with verbal and nonverbal communication, making it essential to move them towards clear and simple exchanges. One of the ways that we do this is to use visual aids, picture cards, or role-play scenarios. We can teach them basic phrases such as “I feel…” or “Can we talk about this?” Encouraging your child to express their thoughts succinctly and clearly can prevent misunderstandings in their dealings with others. 

6. Promoting Turn-Taking and Sharing

We offer various workshops and group activities that create a social environment. In these scenarios, we provide structured activities that involve sharing and turn-taking. The idea is to help children develop patience and a sense of fairness. At Monarch House, we are well-equipped with cards and board games and other cooperative activities that encourage positive interactions. Playing with others teaches them the values of tolerance and respect. 

7. Making Use Of Visual Tools 

Sometimes the easiest way for a child to learn how to resolve a conflict is to see it mapped out visually on the wall, so they can follow the stages step-by-step at their own speed. For this reason, at Monarch House we make use of visual tools, such as pictographs, charts, and choice boards. These can help your child understand the options available to them during a conflict. Suggesting clear choices for your child such as “I need a moment” or “Maybe we should talk to an adult,” helps them feel in control and works to reduce stress.

8. Providing Positive Reinforcement

A hug, a high five, or a special trip somewhere can encourage your child to think through their actions a little more during tense moments. Keep an eye on your child as things become a little heated and give them a chance to resolve the conflict on their own before stepping in. When they put some of the conflict resolution skills that they have learned at Monarch House into practice, acknowledge and praise the effort to resolve the situation constructively. Positive reinforcement encourages children to repeat desired behaviours. For instance, you could say, “I’m proud of how you gave that child their toy back when they asked.”

Knowing how to navigate a difficult situation without losing your temper or getting frustrated is something everyone should know. At Monarch House we have a professional, interdisciplinary staff of occupational therapists, behavioural therapists, psychotherapists, and speech pathologists that are here to help your child to learn these skills. Teaching conflict resolution techniques to children with neurodivergence requires patience, consistency, and a supportive environment. By fostering communication, empathy, and problem-solving skills, we can help children with autism in Toronto build stronger relationships and navigate the complexities of social interactions with confidence.