Sometimes awkward conversations are necessary. They can clear the air and nip misconceptions in the bud. Explaining autism to extended family and friends can feel like a daunting, uncomfortable task, but it’s essential for fostering acceptance, understanding, and support. No two people with autism are alike, so it isn’t always easy to pinpoint characteristics. It’s a spectrum disorder, meaning each individual has unique needs and mannerism. At the end of the day, the goal is to help your loved ones understand the multitude of ways that autism can show itself and instruct them on how they can create a supportive environment for your child. 

Here are ten ways to effectively discuss autism Toronto with your extended family and friends.

1. Acting Out
   Remind your friends and family that not all of the interactions with your child will be rosy. As human beings they are also subject to a wide range of emotions and feelings of discomfort or unease that they will find a way to express. Undesirable behaviours like meltdowns, repetition, or withdrawal are often simply a form of communication for someone with autism. It’s important for your friends and family to know that they shouldn’t take it personally. These behaviours are often just a response to frustration, sensory overload, or an unmet need. It’s also important to educate your family that these actions are not simply “bad behaviour.” It’s more complicated than that. Often they are a way of expressing something that might not be easily understood.

2. Emphasize Strengths, Not Just Challenges
   At Monarch House, we see autism as a form of superpower. While it’s true that autism may come with its challenges, it also has its strengths. It’s not unheard of that many individuals with autism have incredible attention to detail, focus, or extraordinary talents in areas like math, music, or art. Reminding family and friends to focus on the advantages rather than the shortcomings can help them see the whole person, not just the diagnosis.

3. Autism Is A Spectrum
   Your child with autism might be extremely different from another child with autism that your family also knows. At Monarch House we like to remind people that autism isn’t a one-size-fits-all condition. Everyone with autism is different. Some children with autism may have difficulty speaking while others may be highly verbal. Some might be solitary in nature, while others can be very social. There is no single “autism experience”—it’s a spectrum. This means each person with neurodivergence requires a completely different kind of support.

4. The Social Differences are Not Intentional
   One of the stereotypes of autism is that they have a hard time with one-to-one conversations. This is not always the case, but it can be true in some respects. People with autism may have difficulty making eye contact and understanding social cues. This does not mean they are uninterested in others. When you are with family or friends, it can help to explain that these behaviours are not intentional or a sign of rudeness. Gently discussing these characteristics with them can be a good way to avoid misinterpretation. Children with autism Toronto may need a little help navigating social norms and could surely benefit from a little support and patience from family members and friends.

5. Sensory Sensitivities Are Real
   Lights, sounds, textures, and tastes that may seem like a non-issue to many of us, can be, in fact, a huge deal to a child with autism. It’s not uncommon for many people with autism to experience heightened or diminished sensory sensitivities. For some children, this could mean that they are made uneasy by various components of our environment. Explain to your family that these sensory experiences are overwhelming for your child, and what might seem like a small discomfort to others could be a massive irritant for someone with autism. You can make visits more comfortable by encouraging family members to create a sensory-friendly environment for your child.

6. Routines Are Crucial
   What some people might consider mundane or monotonous can be a source of soothing, and sometimes even joy, to a child with autism. Children with autism often thrive on routines and the repetitive behaviours they’re made of. Disruptions to their way of doing things can cause distress. Don’t let your family get alarmed. Just let them know that if your child sticks to their routine, it gives them a sense of comfort and predictability. Changes in plans might lead to anxiety or meltdowns. Just let them know that your child needs some extra space when it comes to the planning department. Encourage them to be flexible with plans and to communicate changes in advance to help your child manage transitions more smoothly.

7. Communication Styles Vary
   At Monarch House, we tailor our communication strategies to each individual child. Not everyone with autism articulates their needs in the same way. Some may be perfectly comfortable using words, while others might resort to pictures, gestures, or even assistive devices. When you are with friends and family members it is important for them to have a flexible outlook. Just because a child doesn’t speak in a traditional manner doesn’t mean they don’t have something important to say. With some gentle reminders, you can help your family understand that communication can take many forms. Encourage them to slow down and give plenty of time for responses. This can significantly help to improve interactions with your child.

8. Emotional Regulation Takes Time
   Just because your child does not laugh, cry, get angry, or express surprise on the same cues as a neurotypical child does not necessarily mean it is any cause for alarm. Children with autism sometimes have difficulty processing and expressing emotions. Tell your friends and extended family that it is important to be patient. Explain to them that emotional regulation might take longer to process and their behaviours may require additional support. A child with autism may not always be able to express frustration or excitement the same way others do, and that’s okay. What matters is how they are received, and if one is accepting of the differences. 

9. Support is Important
   Explain to your family and friends that there are no wrong questions to ask when learning about your child’s autism. However, it might be important to dispel some myths and misconceptions early on. Autism is not something that “goes away” with time, but with the right support, people on the spectrum can thrive. Let your family and friends know that you are working with professionals—such as therapists at Monarch House, teachers, and doctors—to support your child’s development. Ask for their help in understanding and reinforcing what your child needs in different situations.

10. Be Patient and Open-Minded
    At the end of the day, kindness is key. One of the most important things you can ask of family and friends is to be patient and open-minded. Let them know that understanding autism is an ongoing process. Encourage open communication so that family members feel comfortable asking questions and learning more. As they become more knowledgeable, they will be better equipped to support your child and create a more inclusive environment for them.

At Monarch House we have a professional, interdisciplinary staff of behavioural therapists, occupational therapists, psychotherapists, and speech pathologists. Working together, we are more than happy to help you with materials, resources, or even a place to have a forum with your extended family and friends. Explaining autism Toronto can be a powerful tool in fostering understanding. By offering your family and friends a clear picture of your child’s needs and strengths, you can help them create a more supportive environment that benefits everyone.