No one likes to feel overshadowed or upstaged. When your brother or sister is dominating the limelight every single day, it can feel a bit lonely and forgotten playing second fiddle. The siblings of children with autism play a crucial supporting role, but due to their independence, they are sometimes left to their own devices while mom and dad tend to more urgent fires. They simply don’t get the same consideration as their neurodivergent kin. To ensure a healthy family dynamic and making sure that every child’s needs are met, supporting the siblings of children with autism needs to be given the attention it deserves. It’s time to shine a light on the siblings, and look into the unique challenges they face as they navigate the complexities of growing up with a brother or sister on the autism spectrum. 

Here are ten ways that we can provide meaningful support to these siblings of children with autism Toronto.

Acknowledge Their Feelings
At Monarch House, one of the biggest things we do is just listen. It’s important for children to have a sounding board. As a sibling of a child with autism, they may experience a wide range of emotions, from jealousy, to confusion, to frustration. At Monarch House, we believe it’s important to pay close attention to what they have to say about their situation and validate their feelings without judgment. Simply by offering a safe space for them to express themselves can help alleviate emotional burdens.

Educate Them About Autism
Sometimes children don’t know what’s going on. They might be confused as to why their brother or sister is getting all the attention, and, to their minds, given extra privileges. The more you can educate them about your child’s neurodivergent condition, the better. Understanding autism is key to empathy. Explain autism in an age-appropriate way. Make it clear to your child that the behaviours or needs of their sibling are a part of their condition. And often they are not intentional. The more you can build up the knowledge of how autism works, the more prepared they’ll be as challenging behaviours of their brother or sister deviate your attention from them.

Encourage Open Communication
At Monarch House, we have a no wrong questions policy. We do our best to create an environment where siblings feel comfortable sharing concerns. Try to establish this at home as well. Regular, open conversations help prevent misunderstandings. All in all, it can create a stronger emotional connection within the family.

Provide One-on-One Time
Make some time for you and the sibling, and do something special. Bring them to the Toronto Zoo, or up the CN Tower, just the two of you. Their bucket needs to be filled once in a while too. Siblings of children with autism may often feel overlooked due to the increased attention their brother or sister needs, so it’s important not to forget about them in all the bustle. Scheduling special, one-on-one time with them reassures them that they are valued and important too.

Promote Individual Interests
Build up the resilience in your independent children by giving them activities that will make them feel good about themselves. Keep them inspired. Encourage the siblings to pursue their own hobbies and interests. And check in regularly and show an interest in what they’re doing. Nurturing their individual growth and self-esteem can help them feel more balanced and supported within the family unit.

Be Honest About Family Challenges
At Monarch House, we like to keep it real. We understand that it’s enormously important to maintain a sense of optimism about the whole thing. However, you won’t get anywhere unless everyone involved is straightforward and honest about the challenges that come with raising a child with autism. The siblings might get overwhelmed at times, and this transparency helps them understand that they’re not alone in how they feel. 

Involve Them in the Process
We actively encourage siblings, and even the whole family, to be heavily involved in the care of your child with autism. We have a ‘takes a whole village’ mentality. So, whenever there is the opportunity, we like to involve siblings in therapy sessions and services that are tailored to their sibling with autism. Once they have some experience being up close and personal with the condition, they can begin to understand strategies used to support their brother or sister. All in all, they’ll feel more involved in the family’s journey.

Encourage Peer Support
Getting the sibling involved in a Big Buddy type scenario can really help. (Whether they are the older buddy or the younger one. It works both ways.) As much as you can help the siblings connect with others who may have similar experiences with their brothers and sisters with autism Toronto. At Monarch House we offer sibling support sessions, both in-person or online. These can provide an outlet for sharing challenges and successes with others who truly understand.

Model Patience and Empathy
Lead by example and be the person that you want your children to be. As much as you can, be a pillar of understanding and empathy. Demonstrate patience in your interactions with both your child with autism and their sibling. By modelling these behaviours, you teach them how to accept their situation in a calm, compassionate way.

Seek Professional Support When Needed
At Monarch House, we have group sessions specifically designed to address challenging behaviours. If you find that the siblings are struggling with their emotions and they are acting out, consider bringing them to Monarch House for professional help from one of our therapists. We are here to support you. Therapy at Monarch House offers a neutral space to explore feelings and develop coping strategies.

Allow the brothers and sisters to have their chance to shine. Every once in a while, shower the siblings of your child with autism with attention. They need some light, and you’ll see them blossom. It’s crucial for their emotional and mental well-being. At Monarch House, supporting siblings of children with autism Toronto is one of our specialties. Just ask us about our support groups and joint therapy sessions with our behavioural therapists, occupational therapists, speech therapists, and psychotherapists. We believe that through acknowledging a sibling’s experiences, providing education, and fostering open communication, we can help to ensure that all children in your family feel understood, supported, and loved.